What the hell happened to the 3-series?

While my beloved little Rataxes is having its windshield spray pump repaired, and hopefully finally having the wiring in its driver-side front speaker fixed (fourth time’s a charm!), the guys at the service center were kind enough to loan me a new 3-series for a few days.

I’m speechless. With the latest redesign, BMW have absolutely ruined this car.

And what a car to ruin! The 3-series has so much pedigree, easily racking up more awards than anything else in its category, consistently, over decades. I’ve had driving experience in an E90, and briefly in an E92 and E46, and loved them all. By comparison, this new F30… is just bad. BMW have started with a car that for so long dominated the sports sedan market… and made it feel cheap.

Indulge me a little rant here…

The build quality’s terrible – every single panel in the cabin, from the sunroof shade to the center console, feels tinny and flimsy. They’ve used much thinner plastic for everything, and the result is a car that feels hollow and insubstantial everywhere you touch it. One of the taillights is falling off. After only 2,000 miles!

Apparently, there’s a recall for this

The cabin’s badly designed – they’ve removed the pouch in the center console, and the one in front of the gearstick has been replaced by a hatch whose cover hides two cupholders. Stunningly, the hatch cover doesn’t slide away: it pulls off completely, and they suggest you throw it in the glove box when it’s off. There’s no longer an obvious place for storing things like sunglasses.

To use the cupholders, remove this hatch and... find somewhere to put it

The seats are uncomfortable. The steering’s loose. The suspension wallows. The outsize key is twice the size it used to be, and there’s nowhere to slot it into to store and recharge it while driving (just let it rattle in the door pocket, or bulge in your own pocket). I couldn’t find a way to have the courtesy lights come on automatically when you stop driving. The engine shakes the car like never before. The speedo has no gradations more precise than 10mph markings.

I’m amazed the thing only has 2,000 miles on it. My grunty little 1-series had 8,000 when I bought it, and it felt and drove like a much newer car. Now 43,000 miles old, in some ways it still does.

It’s hard to believe BMW made a car that’s just so much worse than the ones they used to sell. The 3-series of old were such great models, I’ve still got a lot of goodwill to BMW. Here’s hoping they put the F30 out of its misery, soon.